Hanging in there

I lost my ability to restrain pen and tongue on twitter this morning.  I apologize to anyone upset by it.

I hate being in this position. I’m embarrassed, ashamed, tired, disappointed, bored, desperately bored with being the nice guy who everyone respects and admires but who is puzzlingly incapable of generating regular revenue and looking after himself.

In a nutshell, I’m down to my last few quid again.  My rent is 3 weeks overdue and I have no income at the moment.  I had to call my kids yesterday and tell them I couldn’t visit them last night as arranged. I know these are distasteful things we’re not supposed to talk about in public, but I am convinced that *not* talking about it does me more harm.

I have had a wave of loveliness from people on twitter.  I know I’m loved, admired, respected and that people are inspired by some of the things that I do.  That means a lot to me.

I’ve been exhorted to hang in there, stay positive, stand proud and keep my chin up and I will. I’ve been told I’m not a quitter and that I’m hugely capable, that things always turn round and nothing stays the same.  I know, I’ve been here before.  I really had hoped not to be here again.

I have to ask again what I can do today to generate more cash, preferably on a regular basis. 

PS for anyone coming to this fresh, please take a look at the archives, some “obvious” ground has already been covered.

Originally posted on Lloyd’s posterous

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