I overdid it this week. I found that adding in exercise, more water and better sleep this week worked well on my ADHD, but left me vulnerable to doing too much. It all needs to be balanced with rest outside of sleeping at night. Yes it’s all common sense. No I still am not able to do it consistently. Also Friday has become this really busy day where I do Tuttle and then Friday Lunch at church and try to catch up with everything I’ve missed in the afternoon without having a proper lunch break… again.
Using otter.ai while I’m walking to talk through what’s on my mind has been really useful. It’s like having the ability to write index cards while I walk along the road. And I’ve been using logseq more this week, it feels more hypertexty and wiki-like for some reason. It also creates Markdown files by default, which I like.
I spent some time today going through the 15 cards (some of them I haven’t done anything on yet at all!). Again, I used otter, but this time at my desk. And I pulled them out of the box randomly and said what I thought the most important project and product for each card should be. It’s an exercise I’ve been meaning to do for ages, but have found it hard to write. It’s hard to write spontaneous notes like that, especially if you try to type them. So it’s a rambling mess, but I’ve got some more structure now. Some of them are long-form, long-term projects, others are the sort of thing where I might choose to do something every day for thirty days, or even just try to incorporate them into my morning or daily practice – like making photos, for example, it’s just good for me daily to give myself even 15 minutes of focusing on the visual and what’s going on around me that might be photographed – no obvious project jumping out at me, except make more.
So here’s some beans for you.
I’ve noticed frustration setting in this weekend. With lack of progress, with having to rest, with people having expectations of me (which I’ve totally encouraged) with the things that are just not being touched at all – basically just by not being able to do all the things, all the time.
I need to prepare better for the week and choose some things that really need to be done to get done. There are a couple of family and work things that really need sorting.
Today was my wedding anniversary – we walked over to Watt’s Gallery along the North Down’s Way and had lunch. I was glad to see my friend Debbie Davies’s artwork “Belonging” is still hanging in one of the oak trees outside. It looked great today against the blue of the sky and the green trees, summer came back from the dead today and it should be sticking around for a while.
So this was the week that I made a film, a podcast (even if I wouldn’t share it), chopped up some candles and learned a lot of programming.
There are two main improvements in this week’s review – one is to keep focusing on the sharing rather than on reporting the making. The making is going on, but it isn’t driven by the need to write about it.
The other is that I’m being a bit more systematic about my non-medication ADHD treatments. I’m keeping an eye on my daily practice of: meditation; exercise; diet and dietary supplements; art; reducing physical clutter; sleep, rest and other self-care activities. The last three days, for example I’ve started the morning with meditation and exercise before breakfast and made sure I got to bed at a reasonable time.
On Sundays I’m going to review the week past. I’ve done 9 days of making something every day. Woohoo! The formatting of this post is wonky and shoddy because it’s 8.30pm on Sunday and I haven’t made the dinner yet and I’m going to get yelled at.
what i set out to do (having written it, I realise this is a post hoc set of justifications – see below…)
- practice making something every day
- not losing my whole day to duties and chores
- feel less stressed about doing the work
- do more work and less sitting around
- still do my day job well
- process some of the stuff
- rediscover collaborators and fans
- practice writing in public every day
- revive my blogging practice
- record what I’ve actually been doing
- understand my adhd better
- find strategies for working with my adhd better
- be more productive and happier
- have things to give away as gifts
- have things to sell
- do some new things and learn some new skills
- probably loads more vague aspirations.
“Shit, that’s a lot” – if I’d shared all this with someone beforehand, they might have said something like “you seem to have a lot riding on this, don’t you want to make it a bit more simple and manageable?” and my answer is still, “No, these are all the things I want to do and that’s why I’m doing this exercise. I don’t see it that my happiness is ‘riding’ on the work, simply that these are the benefits I can see accruing from doing the work and doing it every day. If I had to narrow down what I actually set out to do, it was to practice making something and writing about the process every day in order to learn more about my adhd in the context of creative work. This is why I never could stand project managers.
what happened this week?
- I made something and posted a blog post about it every day
- The first day I was a bit late writing about it, I think.
- I refined my blogging processes
- I researched blogging software
* a timelapse video
* a hand-drawn animated gif
* a collection of 35mm scans from 1981
* a very short (2 or 3 bars) snippet of music
* some candle wax ready for re-use
* 320 words on “What were the eighties really like?”
* a twitter thread about this process
* a twitter thread describing a weird dream I had
* a collection of photos of my day
* a set of eight (rough) sheets of origami paper
* a collection of reminiscence materials to send to my uncle
* a new plan for a piece about the 1980s
* a fire
* six small twigs of charcoal
I realised how much I blame myself for not having been disciplined enough to do this is in the past.
I realised how many different things I want to do. The desire to give up any day job is about having time to do these things.
I’m learning about my capacity to actually do them. I don’t have to give them all up, but I also can live better with them not happening soon or ever.
I also saw more creativity coming into everyday life. eg. I made some vegetable stock to make a dinner a bit more exciting.
what is worth persevering with?
- It’s great to write and publish every day, no matter what.
- Having a prompt and some idea that I will stick to it, is working for me – I don’t always make something exactly as I expected, but I’m also not getting distracted by the other things, I can just go “no, that’s not wastecraft” or whatever “that will have to wait for another day”
- I will continue at least until I’ve done one of everything on the list. I’m still not revealing the list until I’ve done one of everything.
- I’m drafting in workflowy and draftsapp and now pulling everything together in draftsapp which can auto post to my wordpress blog. I then copy and paste to hiveblog – it works so that’s something.
- I’m not sharing to Facebook. This is a conscious choice and part of a general desire to keep most of my creative work away from there. It helps me that there are far fewer people reading and commenting here, it feels manageable.
what might I change?
- I’ve amended the weekend routine to be “freestyle” on Saturday and a review (like this… only better?) on Sunday. I think it works (unless I find tomorrow that I’m still trying to bend the rules).
- I’d like to have a smoother process for hive, something that mirrors the wordpress action in drafts.
- I’d also like to be able to blog straight from the outliner – at the moment I’m doing microblog or note posting via twitter. It might be that I have to PESOS this for now, but I’d like my blog to be more than just these making posts.
- I’d like to be doing more writing as I go, rather than reporting at the end of the day on work done. Feels like homework. The blogging should be more integral to the work.
OK I’m totally bored with reviewing now. There are bound to be more things under every heading, but I think having expressed anything.
Here’s where we went for a day out today, it was lovely.