Tuttle After Dark* #1

Yep! Last Minute Event!

6pm-8pm (drop in anytime)
Friday 19th August 2016

The Concrete Basement
42-43 Lower Marsh (entrance in Tansell St)
London
SE1 7RG

The first of a series of regular (monthly) evening doo-dahs for you to meet other interesting people and maybe show off some creative work you’ve been doing or your favourite party-pieces – sing a song, read your poetry, tell us a story through interpretive dance. Or sit at the side and enjoy.

How to find us
We’re under the hardware shop next to Cafe del Marsh. Come to the Red Door in Tansell St and if the door ain’t open, press the bottom buzzer marked “Inside the Edit” – when you hear the door unlock, come down to the basement.

What you should think about bringing:
Yourself,
A friend
Two friends!
Your (acoustic) party piece(s)
Alcohol if you need/want it (there will be soft drinks too)
Food if you need something substantial between 6 and 8 or you just like sharing. (there will be nibbles too)
Cash for the pot (see below)

What will be there?
There will be ukulele!
There is a projector so if you want to show something media-ish (*short films, holiday snaps from Bognor) – let me know beforehand
No big boomy sound system but we’ll shush people if you need to be heard during a performance

Suggested donation £5 per person
To support the Tuttle vision, please pay what you can afford
If you can’t contribute financially today, please still come, remember I love you much more than I love your money
If you can’t come along, do think about throwing some money in the pot to keep the Tuttle flag flying.

OK, so the sun actually sets at 8.15pm in London that evening so it won’t be dark dark until after you leave, but we’re in a basement with only the smallest window and we’ll have low lighting so it will *feel dark – and this is just the first – until December, things can only get darker!

 

Pale, Male and Stale

Oh dear!

It’s hard isn’t it?

You’re stuck. Nothing seems to work any more. All the things you’ve been working for seem pointless. The successes you’ve achieved haven’t given you the security you craved. You’re worried that you put your ladder up against the wrong wall. Maybe it’s too late. What’s happening? Why can’t you get anything done any more? What really matters? Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe if you go somewhere else, get a new job, start fresh! But how?

I can help. I’ve thought all of these things. I’ve felt all of the feelings that go with them. I have recovered a sense of purpose and achievement.  I haven’t completely overcome all of it, but I’m a long way down the road – I get up in the morning and most days and get useful stuff done, most evenings I’m pleased with what I’ve got done. While the outsides might not look that different, I have inner peace. You can too.

I’m opening up some of my time to helping people on a one-to-one basis. Call it coaching or mentoring or guidance if you like (especially if it helps someone else pay for my time!) –  I prefer to avoid terms that might keep you from working on what’s wrong: you might not need a coach or a mentor or guidance but you might still need some help.

We can work face-to-face if you’re in London, but Skype and phonecalls do just as well (sometimes even better).

Let’s have a 30-minute chat to start (for the price of a coffee) and see whether there’s scope to work together.  You can message me in total confidence via any of the usual channels.

PS the title of this post is not meant to exclude anyone who doesn’t identify as pale or male. It’s the staleness that really needs to be dealt with.

“Why can’t you just… be a better person?”

This was an old joke between my first wife and me, when a discussion or argument that had reached the point where one person wanted to shout “Why can’t you just do what I’m telling you to do?” – the other would pull out this line and defuse the situation (obviously not foolproof as you may infer from my use of the phrase ‘first wife’).

But it’s a good question, why can’t you just be a better person? Why is personal growth so hard?

Why do we have to grow at all? Can’t we just carry on where we are? Well, no it appears not. Even the most stagnant relationships and work situations don’t last forever. We end up having to change in one way or another and we can either do it consciously or unconsciously. No scrap that, it’s not either/or, it’s a matter of degree of consciousness – my experience has been that for every epiphany as a result of conscious work on myself there are a hundred little growth spurts that I don’t recognise as such until much later on.

So what is this conscious work? It’s a kind of growing up, it’s a way of building good character, it’s dealing with the unconscious triggers that result in disturbance (/me being a dick). Most spiritual traditions and teachers have a way of doing this and for me it boils down to a few steps:

    • Admit that the disturbance is in me. Not that the outside world is perfect and I’m wrong, but that the thing causing me the most pain is not outside of me, it’s within.
    • Accepting the thing I’m doing is part of me and likely has been around for a while (ie it’s not just a product of this situation). This is tough. Who wants to admit that they’re habitually self-centred, self-righteous or dishonest?
    • Remembering that just because it’s a (perhaps quite old) habit doesn’t mean that it’s the ultimate truth about me. I am fundamentally honest and I’m mostly capable of enacting that but there are times, when I feel under pressure, that I say things that aren’t true.
    • Forgiving myself for doing it one more time and forgiving those that I’d associated with my disturbance.
    • Doing something to express that forgiveness to anyone I’ve harmed through the disturbance – this requires a couple of careful steps, one is assessing who has been harmed (it might only be me!) and the other is how to do something about it without compounding the original harm.  Finding someone else who can help you see the right path through this bit is invaluable.
    • Get on with doing something helpful and useful for someone else.
    • Rinse and repeat as required.

I’m not done, by the way, I have no illusion of my own perfection, but it helps, it really does.

Videoblog: 160624 “Independence” Day

It felt important to put another link in the chain today even though I didn’t feel like talking much.  Processing… processing… processing.

Shock is a weird thing, it will be interesting to look back on this once it’s passed.  Thanks to all who came to Tuttle this morning to share their experience of shock, grief, acceptance, tolerance and love.  More will be revealed!

Also I need to experiment more with this new camera so that I’m not all out of focus🙂

“Moved in”

Today I moved into Lower Marsh – this consisted of me showing up and acquiring a set of keys and having an introduction to the various security measures.  Then there was lots of walking around the space, poking things, thinking, thinking about where stuff could go, thinking about what to keep and what we might need.

Then we (me, Rachel and Dan) wandered up and down the terrific array of street food stalls and settled on some Pad Thai which we ate at a little table outside the hardware shop while we got to know each other a little better.

I took a wander up and down after lunch and checked out which spaces in the street have free wifi.  An important point – there are lots of places that only take cash, but there are no cashpoints/ATMs – bring cash with you!

We need to get the phone line and wifi working in the basement but otherwise we’re in.

Come and see me.  I’m not keeping regular office hours yet but let me know if you’re going to be passing through Waterloo and if we can say hello, we should!

I'm the founder of the Tuttle Club and fascinated by organisation. I enjoy making social art and building communities, if you'd like some help from me feel free to e-mail me: Lloyd dot Davis at Gmail dot Com or call +44 (0)79191 82825

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 6,969 other followers