That had I been Rupert Murdoch, James Murdoch or Rebekah Brooks, I would have known everything that was going on in my media empire and no wrong doing would ever have happened “on my watch”. I would have created a culture of honesty, transparency and respect for the law at all times.
Likewise, If I had been a senior police officer like Sir Paul Stephenson or John Yates I would have acted with excellent judgement at all times, listened carefully to all advice I was given and instantly known whether information was being kept from me. I would be able to spot corrupt officers with ease.
If I had been Jonnie Marbles I would have thought carefully about the possible negative repercussions of my throwing a custard pie at Mr Murdoch and kept the shaving foam in my bag.
If I’d been Gordon Brown, I’d have spoken out about the invasions into my family privacy a lot earlier.
If I’d been George Bush on 9/11 I would not have sat there reading “My Little Goat” I would have acted immediately and decisively. The whole of al Quaeda would have been tried for war crimes within days of the atrocity.
I never make mistakes, never make a choice today that might look different in the context of tomorrow, never behave out of self-interest and it’s very very important to me that you know that.